Radical Acceptance Skill

Definition

Radical Acceptance is a core DBT Distress Tolerance skill that involves fully and completely accepting reality as it is, without judgment, resistance, or avoidance—even if you dislike it or it feels unfair.

Purpose

Used to:

• Reduce suffering caused by fighting reality.
• Free up mental and emotional energy to respond effectively.
• Help end cycles of bitterness, resentment, or denial.
• Promote peace and psychological flexibility.

When to Use

Use Radical Acceptance when:

• You are stuck in rumination about why something “shouldn’t be happening.”
• You feel paralyzed by anger, bitterness, or denial.
• You cannot change the past or aspects of the present.
• You notice that fighting reality is making pain worse.

When Not to Use

Avoid using Radical Acceptance if:

• You have the ability and responsibility to change the situation (e.g., unsafe conditions, abuse).
• You are using “acceptance” as an excuse for inaction or enabling harm.
• You are in acute danger requiring immediate intervention.

How-To

1. Notice you are resisting reality.

   • What thoughts are you having? (“It shouldn’t be this way.”)

2. Name what you are fighting.

   • Be specific: “I am rejecting that this relationship ended.”

3. Remind yourself that reality is as it is, whether you approve or not.

4. Use your body:

   • Breathe deeply.
   • Relax your face and shoulders.
   • Unclench your jaw.

5. Use self-talk:

   • “This is happening right now.”
   • “I don’t have to like it to accept it.”

6. Practice acceptance over and over.

   • Radical Acceptance is a process, not a one-time event.

Tips & Variations

• Pair Radical Acceptance with self-compassion.
• Use visualization (imagine yourself opening your hands to reality).
• Distinguish acceptance from approval: accepting doesn’t mean you condone.
• Practice with small annoyances to build skill.

Example

Jorge lost his job unexpectedly.

1. Resisting: “This is unfair. It shouldn’t have happened.”

2. Radical Acceptance: “It did happen. I lost my job. This is reality.”

3. Action: After accepting, he started making plans to look for new work.

Inventor / Origin

Developed by Marsha Linehan, PhD, Radical Acceptance integrates concepts from:

• Zen mindfulness practices
• Behavioral psychology
• Stoicism

Related Skills

• Willingness
• Turning the Mind
• Mindfulness
• Self-Compassion

Limitations

May not be effective if:

• Used to avoid appropriate problem-solving.
• You expect it to immediately remove all pain.
• You are in denial about the consequences of acceptance.

Evidence Base

Research shows:

• Acceptance-based strategies reduce emotional suffering.
• Practicing Radical Acceptance improves coping and reduces avoidance.
• Mindfulness and acceptance together increase psychological resilience.

Further Reading

• DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets by Marsha Linehan
• Radical Acceptance Article
• Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach

References

• Linehan, M.M. (2015). DBT Skills Training Manual, Second Edition. New York: Guilford Press.
• Hayes, S.C., Strosahl, K.D., & Wilson, K.G. (2011). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: The Process and Practice of Mindful Change.